apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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