Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize