I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
