My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
tell me about the fingering
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