what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
