I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
where are my eyebrows?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
