I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
