do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
