Where did you get a picture of my penis
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
