Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
