yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I have post one night stand depression
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
