Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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