and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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