Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
