I just made out with a guy for $7.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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