guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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