We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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