If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
