You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
