nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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