This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
