Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
