pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
