I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
