THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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