I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
