i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
