I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My vagina just recognized that song.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
