Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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