pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
