"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
