Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
