You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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