Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
