So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
