If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
