What a fucking waste of an outfit
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
