Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Success! We fucked roommates!
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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