You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
