I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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