So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
