Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
