so explain again why im purple
no
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
