judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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