She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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