Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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