there was a trapeze. enough said
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
