Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
