epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
