About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
