Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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