wanna go halves on a baby?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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