ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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