That's intense
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
