I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
