I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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