i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
