He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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