you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
