I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
