all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
