blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
