Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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