Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize