all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize