Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
