No stitches, just platelets and will power
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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