Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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