Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
