I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
A bitchslap is in order.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
